Woman At Number 7

Today I bought something for myself.  I had a moment of pure selfish greed and bought myself something completely and utterly pointless.  It’s the first thing I’ve bought for myself for a long time and now I’m riddled with guilt.

I feel guilty because I’m a single mum on benefits, and I feel like I should be spending this money wisely.  Money is always tight and whenever I have a bit of extra cash I normally spend it on my kids.  May be I should have bought myself something that was useful (like a screwdriver cos that bathroom cabinet won’t fix itself to the wall) or something practical (like a new shirt cos I don’t even remember the last time I bought myself some new clothes) but I can’t be sensible all the time.  I can’t even explain the purchase away by saying “yes but they also cook rice so everyone will get get to enjoy them” because they don’t cook rice.

But why should I feel guilty?  I haven’t been completely frivolous, I bought my son new school shoes (they cost £34!), tomorrow I’m paying for music lessons for my daughter at her school, I’ve paid my gas, electric and telephone bills, bought food for the rest of the week and even bought a storage box to put my christmas stuff away!

So sod the guilt, I’m off to eat a slice of toast and listen to the Foo Fighters on my brand new, wundy dundy headphones!

All I need to do now is tell my friend that I might not be going round to see her cos I’ve spent my bus fare on these headphones … damn it, I feel guilty again.